What is it?
Surrogate EFT is tapping on yourself as if you were another person, animal or thing. For example, my cat, Giles, fell over something and hurt his wrist (equivalent!). Having delivered him to the vet for x-rays, I did some tapping for him at home, with interesting results. The vet could not tell from the x-ray whether or not he had broken a bone – it looked like both!
During the tapping session, I could feel his front leg superimposed on my own and knew the session was done when the energy was flowing properly to his/my paw.
You may wonder if perhaps this all seems a bit unlikely, but the vet was flummoxed by how quickly the swelling went down and how quickly Giles recovered.
If it works for a cat, in another location, then it will pretty much work on anything. In fact, the Emofree website is full of stories of people surrogate tapping their cars, computers and various other things with surprisingly effective results!
Why Tap Surrogately?
As mentioned above, surrogate tapping is appropriate for animals and things – outcomes can be delightfully surprising!
Surrogate tapping can also be effective for people. On one occasion, I facilitated a session for a boy with autism by helping his mother surrogate tap on herself. The boy, who had been moving constantly, lay down behind her while this was going on and was clearly engaged in the process.
On an everyday level, there are occasions when surrogate tapping might be appropriate – Gary Craig gives examples of tapping surrogately on planes for crying babies and people who are clearly afraid of flying. This type of thing is a gift given in a detached sort of way without judgement.
But what about if you’re having a disagreement with one of your friends – or a family member? Is it appropriate to surrogate tap for them?
That depends. There are times when my teenage children are very challenging. I have often thought about surrogate tapping on them but have taught myself to tap on myself first. When I feel the need to tap on someone else I generally tap on myself for why it is I feel the need to change them. Quite often it is because I have a little control issue going on there!
A useful tool is from NLP – the three person strategy, where one taps on oneself for the issue, then one takes a look at the situation from the other person’s point of view - which is not tapping surrogately, but taking a look at oneself from outside. I might, for example, think about how I felt as a teenager when my own parents were being “challenging”! [grin]
Even though my mother just doesn’t understand how important this party is …
Even though my mother’s fashion sense is 90 years out of date …
Even though it’s really embarrassing to have to leave early to be home by midnight … everyone else gets to stay out late …
Even though they treat me like a baby – it’s so humiliating …
Looking at it from the other person’s point of view often brings up things from our own childhood/work/friendships that we haven’t dealt with. On the principle that what pushes our buttons is generally what we dislike about ourselves, it can be really useful to take a look at ourselves from someone else’s point of view, particularly when we disagree with them.
The third person in the three person strategy is the point of view of an outside observer. What impression would someone unconnected with the situation have?
Even though that woman is painting herself into a corner ….
Even though that child just wants to be an adult … it’s a shame she’s not able to understand her mother’s concerns …
Even though neither of them are listening - they both want to be heard …
When we take this three person approach, very often the energy of the situation changes and everyone can move forward.
Enjoy your week!